If you are having trouble locating the perfect ketubah text, try writing your own. You don’t need to be a professional writer to write your own meaningful ketubah. All you need is time and some inspiration. This will give you the perfect opportunity to talk to your future spouse about what is important to you for your future marriage. So, grab a pen and paper and start brainstorming some ideas!
Some of the benefits if you write your own ketubah text are:
- It’s a great way to start a conversation about your future life goals, values, wants, needs, etc…
- Wonderful way to bond with your future partner
- In the end you will have a very personal document specific to your own marriage.
- It will allow you to still follow in your tradition while also imparting your own humor, ideals, and expectations for your marriage.
First thing to do is to check with your Rabbi or officiant to find out if writing your own ketubah text is a possibility. Not every denomination will allow you to write your own text. The text for Orthodox and Consevative ketubot are standardized so there isn’t much leeway. Other denominations have more flexibility and it will be possible to use your own words to come up with a personal and meaningful ketubah text.
After you get the go ahead from your officiant, make sure you set aside plenty of time to sit with your future spouse. Create a cozy, distraction free environment and begin your conversation. This is the time to talk about what is important to you in a marriage, for example, goals, values, expectations, etc… It’s also a good idea to do some research and see what is already out there. This is a good place to begin especially if you are having trouble getting started. This way you can decide what you and your partner like or dislike. Don’t be afraid to insert any humor, romance, or any other creative ideas. Quotes from the bible and or songs that are meaningful are also good to use or get inspiration from. Some popular quotes from classical texts include:
- “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine” (Song of Solomon 6:3)
- “From every human being there rises a light that reaches straight to heaven. And when two souls that are destined to be together find each other their streams of light flow together and a single brighter light goes forth from their united single being.” (Baal Shem Tov)
- “Get yourself a friend…a companion to eat with, drink with,… to sleep next to, to confide in all one’s secrets…” (Avot d’Rabbi Natan 8)
- “Set me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm,…” (Song of Songs 8:6)
- “I have found the one in whom my soul delights” (Song of Songs 3:4)
Once you have all of your ideas written down, you can go ahead and start writing. Don’t worry about it sounding perfect right away. Remember that any writing is a process and that there is always time to edit and make the piece into the perfect ketubah text that you want it to be. This should be a time to enjoy each other and work together to create a beautiful and meaningful ketubah text that you can display and enjoy for the rest of your lives. It should be a symbol of your love and respect for one another within your marriage.
Good luck writing your own ketubah text and have fun!